Being a gentleman was, I thought, an obligation ‘in Rome’, and so there was no heart in it. My ‘me’ was not wanted! That is, until after cognitive behavioural therapy, I fell in love with a good friend. All those chivalrous instincts came to me and I loved her immensely! I used Jane’s Open Heart idea in my loving to her and we had a wonderful relationship! A year passed by and sadly, my girlfriend couldn’t carry on with the relationship because of personal problems. I am now a gentleman AND myself and I can now love again.